The Lion Keepers Tale

The Plane Ride Home

2008-07-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

I'm sure that you have already read what all parental units were going through at the airport, waiting for their darling, ambassadors to come home. You have no idea what this ambassador had to go through.

First we had to endure a 10 hour flight next to my fellow ambassador, lets call her CA. Ca was very, very sad to be leave all of her "friends" and started weeping through about 3 hours of the 10 hour plane ride. Then to add to the dramatic effect, Ca attempted to upchuck into the barf bag. That was when i got out my headphones and watched half a season of House. i dosed off and later woke up to find Ca, snoring sound asleep on my shoulder!

Upon our arrival, we rushed through customs and quickly got our baggage. then when
we tried to head to the terminal, we discovered that there was a bomb threat and that we all must remain nutral. the elevators were all shut down and we had to stand there and wait for our leader to tell us what to do. when we finally got to our gate, we were told by the crabby lady at the desk that we had just missed our departure and that we had to wait for another hour to catch our ride.

to make a lon story short, when i got to the plane the man next to me, after having 2 screwdrivers, was verry upset at the fact that we had to touch down in baltimore and explained to me that he now had to drive 6 hours to go meet his boyfriend!

Good Night, Sleep Tight- Don't let the Surgen Bite!

2008-04-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

It seems that after a long day of prowling the lawn of any unwelcome bunnies there's just not enough hours in the day to get some rest. Meanwhile my mother is still itching from whatever crawled from Google to her from their nap time.

Dog vs. machine

2008-02-01T19:44:00.000-08:00

Our family is now on a mission, to stop Google's barking. Our furry friend would stand in front of us and start barking when he felt that his attention was needed. I already get enough of this from my social studies teacher and i dont need any more. It isn't a soft woof, or a Johnnys-stuck-in-a-well-bark, but a loud obnocious WOOF. My mom told my father and i that if our dog didn't stop this that she would either reach a high point of insanity or have a stroke. My dad tried the shock/buzz collar that we purchased long ago to stop theft but google had already used it as a chew toy. Next my dad went internet shoping. He found many shock collers, buzz collars, and finaly he found a new fancy shmancy device that emits a sound that only naughty canines can hear. he eagerly set it up in the living room and watched to se what would happen. Google now stands in front of our handy dandy machine and has barking wars with it. Meanwhile my dad and i are shoping for a colorful new straight jacket for my mother.

Oh Come All Ye Canines

2007-12-23T08:26:00.000-08:00

As Christmas time draws near Google, the center of everyone's attention, has struck again! Twisting our lives to fit his needs. Instead of the traditional Christmas cookie cookie baking, my mother bought a doggie cook book. So instead of baking snicker doodles and sugar cookies we made cheese-e-cheese biscuits in the shape of shoes, cars, and fire hydrants. Instead of snacking on cookies by the fire, we shoved them in a hole in his ball and watched him greedily lick them out. We also had to migrate the Christmas tree from the sun room to the smaller electric fenced room. The stockings were hung higher by the chimney with care, in hopes that none of Google's paws soon would be there.
As you know our family can't be happy with one Christmas. No, my family has to have Byram(Turkish x-mas), Italian x-mas, and the traditional present opening on the 25. We added to it this year by letting me have an after Christmas/before new years party. I call this the 6 wicked days of Christmas.(some of these days are the after effect of all the presents you get)
So remember today, the first wicked day of Christmas,that somewhere a dog is barking, people are cooking, and guests are frantically running into doggie proofed rooms.

Google's Happy Howloween

2007-11-04T08:51:00.000-08:00

Google's most recent adventure at Ruff Day Out was quite scary. The owner decided to throw a open house Halloween party. Google decided to go out of costume as a convict. My mom and I took bets on how long his adorable home made costume was going to last. It turned out that the majority of dogs at the party were tiny rat like things that were dressed up more often. All of the canine costumes were purchased except my Google who gladly sported his black t-shirt with white electrical tape and a small tag that said K9G1. There was one dog who had a purchased costume the same as Gooogle's but it wasn't quite the same. Most of the costumes only lasted about five minutes before hats and tape went flying, but Google enjoyed the party. I'm innocent i tell you,INNOCENT.

psh, whatever! i earned my costume!

Dancing with the Dogs

2007-09-28T14:33:00.000-07:00

I recently saw a video of a woman dressed as Sandy from Grease. She was dancing with her golden retriever.this inspired me that maybe it would give my dog something else to do with his intelligence besides tormenting his family.I tried for many long hours but was unsuccessful.

hey at least i got him a pretty cool outfit!)

Bubble-back Mountain

2007-08-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

Earlier last week Google was taking a walk around the neighborhood and spotted Merlot,his furry golden retriever friend.Google was so excited that when he tugged at his fancy-shmancy new harness,he did a back flip and landed on his neck.We all thought he would cry or wince or show any sign of pain but he didn't .We thought he was just fine till about seven days later when petting him, we found a large fluid sack on his neck.We reported it to the vet and Google got most of the fluid injected out of it , but the vet left some for poor Google to absorb back in.Now we must put hot compresses on the bubble in 90 degree heat.

smellys googalish adventure

2007-08-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

recently me and my dysfunctional family went to Mexico for vacation.when we were gone though we let Wicked H Google-sit.Maternal contessa,as you all know her from wicked H came to visit.she brought smelly,my brand new cousin with her.they stayed at the house and chatted and smelly enjoyed her bouncy chair.Smelly was making loud shrieking noises to show her bouncy enjoyment,but Google to her shrieks differently.He thought she was howling and went to check on her.He sniffed her hair and she howled even more.Then google decided to try licking smellys feet and she giggled and screamed.Google decided that she was not going to stop and walked away.But then smelly screamed joyfully and google pranced over ,anoyed and licked her feet.Google then surrendered and ploped down next to his shreiking cousin and enjoyed the bouncy vibrations.Later they took smelly to the park and had her play on the slides.she was not amused.we got both hilarius sceens on tape
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=od0zePSPw3U

Google , top dog?

2007-07-20T07:25:00.000-07:00

before after

In our most recent visit to the dog sitter we knew Google would be looked at a little differently seeing as he got a new hair cut. Everyone thought Google looked adorable except Sargent dad who claimed he looked like a girl and refused to let him wear his bandanna. He looks like he lost 30 pounds(take that jenny Craig) and he seemed a bit squeamish.He even ran away from a bunny that approached him in the yard a few days ago,but when we got to the dog sitter it was a whole nether story.we learned that a doggy delinquent was picking on Google (i wonder why) and he had pinned Google to the ground when all of the sudden Google bit him.We also learned that doggy delinquent was banned from doggy daycare and left with puncture wounds.Like my mom always says,"don't start fights , finish them and if someone hits you,your welcome to hit back."

a calm panic

2007-07-15T18:58:00.000-07:00

This is truly UNBELIEVABLE.Our Google is actually calming down! i know right that's impossible,but i think he's calming down.And i know what your thinking,no my dog is not 16 years old and unable getup the stairs,so its not likely that he is going to keel over right this instant.but its truly weird,he doesn't jump on visitors (that much),he sleeps 98% of the day and only gets up to eat and go outside. It's like hes not even there.want an example? OK right now hes playing...by himself.its freaking me out. is it posible my dog needs a set of canine happy pills,or is he just normal?

Freedom ?

2007-07-04T07:30:00.000-07:00

We took a short vacation and Syd and i went to north Carolina. where was the furry rascal u say? well i can't exactly tell u the name but he always has a "Ruff Day Out" there.when mom and dad came to pick up our furry friend they forgot a very important item...HIS JAIL CELL! its been almost a week now and miraculously hes been well, OUTSTANDING we can leave him alone at night and nothing is torn , we can go to dinner and nothing is in shreds.he's even good when we are around. if hes on the counter and we scream,"get down from there!" he's down without anything in his mouth.its been like hes not even here , he spends most of his time sleeping.
Dad says he misses the cage,mom says hes calming down, but I'm sure its not either of those.i think that Sargent dad will give him worse than the cage if he doesn't behave.for now i like it,i say that the babysitter should keep the cage and use it as some sort of dungeon for the troublemakers.

crime one

2007-06-18T09:07:00.000-07:00

googles recent crime happened only 3 minutes ago.We have 2 birds and are bird-sitting 2 of my grandparents birds. Google was harmlesly walking past them and tipped the birds over .The cage crashed to the ground and i quickly grabbed my dads broom-vac and vacumed up the water and the seed. We are trying to cover for googles crime before the word gets to sherif dad and google is onvicted to 5 minutes in "jail" for vandilsm.

this is my lion

2007-06-18T08:17:00.000-07:00

this is my view from the eyes of a not-so-obediant,enormous, hairy ,thief ...

yes my dog,but this isnt jus a dog.He's Google the goldendoole.dont belive me? see for your self...

oh, and the air vent , dont ask.